Thank you! Sophies like a slightly smarter girl version of me so that makes sense

a real ad on my facebook.

They should make phones that still work properly when your hands are covered in grease

This will probably just egg those twisted fuckers on.

The lady on the radio said today is startrek day and didn’t even correct herself

Look what my mom does to her cat every spring

I think on gonna apply for vanity plates. Farts1 on the car and Farts2 on the bike

I just found out I have to train a new guy tomorrow. That means I have to clean/de-weedstench my car. Plus I can’t just get super blazed all night as usual

I just had a delivery to a frat house. I called the dude and he said yolo instead of hello or yello when he answered